I Believe …

I believe that men and women are blessed with different familial roles.

Men were made to be the Head of the Household. Women were created to be the Heart of the Household. Like Yin and Yang, the Creator made us to complement each other, to work together to provide balance and harmony for the greater good of our families.

I believe that those roles should be honored and exalted.

Look around. We’ve shirked our responsibilities long enough to see what we’ve done to our society. Where are the parents in our children’s shows? More and more cartoons and movies show children saving the world on their own or living life on their own with their friends. Why do you complain about your children when you’ve stepped away from the “hardships” of parenting? Women, push back your sleeves and be the heart of your homes! Men, step up and be the C.E.O. of your household! Let parents reclaim the titles of “role model” and take back the damaging over-influence we’ve allotted their peers and the marketing industry.

I believe that men and women should be encouraged to grow into confident, emotionally secure, respectful and responsible beings.

The explosion of single mothers (like me) is not a coincidence. Look at the message our world is sending our young men and women – heck, even our underage children! Music videos, television shows, movies and even advertisements show scads of scantily clad women clamoring for the fleeting attention their bodies bring them and then being tossed aside like used tissue paper when the male grows tired of them. Many females are even dumped when they get “fat” or “let themselves go” due to pregnancy and honestly believe they “deserved” it!

I believe that women (and men) can find fulfillment, contentment and serenity at home as well as in the work-place.

We don’t need to be high-powered corporate workers to be considered successful. Running a home successfully can be just as difficult and rewarding as running a business. In fact, a home is a multifaceted enterprise requiring hospitality (meals, lodging, entertainment, laundry, shuttle service, customer service), maintenance (housekeeping, repairs, lawn care, preventative service on all buildings and equipment), fiance (accounts payable, accounts receivable, collections, payroll [allowances]) and administration (to manage it all).

If anyone ever doubts the effort of a homemaker, let the doubter sit down with the homemaker and list all of the homemaker’s titles along with the current wage rate for each in comparison to the doubter’s contributions and pay.

I believe that children (like my son) are a blessing – no matter how they came to be.

If you don’t want your child, there are many families who would love to adopt him/her. Abortion is not pretty. It’s the death of a living being. One that grows inside of us and shares our blood. Being concerned about your body’s appearance or the “death” of your social life as you know it does not qualify as a “good” reason to kill. If you do not want a child but do want to keep having sex, you have many options ranging from temporary (birth control pills, condoms) to mostly permanent (vasectomy, tubal ligation). Socializing isn’t hard, simply schedule play dates, join a MOPS or Mommy’s/Daddy’s Night Out group. Other parents will understand and you will make new friends.

Don’t rule out single parenting just because it can be difficult!

Not only do I give thanks to G-d for my son every day, I also prayed for him every day while he was still in my body. I prayed for help raising him because I felt overwhelmed. I didn’t know what I would do, how I could cope with all the responsibility and how I would deal with my son’s potential to look just like his father. The end result? The biggest blessing of my life.

For the record, I truly believe my son is the perfect child for me and I make it a point to tell him so on a daily basis. No matter how he came about, he knows I do not regret him one bit and would live my life the same way all over again just to be his mother. I call him the greatest present G-d ever gave me and I tell him about his great potential, if he’ll just follow the Lord’s path. Plumber, lawyer, doctor, mechanic … he has the power to change the world by simply being the best person he can be and doing his best. I can’t undo my past but I can steer my child – and the world we touch – toward a better future.

I believe that sexual intercourse has been profaned.

Instead of being honored as holy and beautiful, sex is depicted as a fun hobby you can participate in with whomever is willing and without much thought for potential consequences. Where is the self-control? Where is the reverence for an act our Creator made for committed couples not only to procreate but to derive enjoyment from? Where is our respect for our bodies and one another? Again, where are the parents?

I believe that homeschooling provides the best education a child can get.

PBS ran an ad that stated that we are our children’s best first teacher. Does that mean we stop being good at training our children once they reach school age? Yet, somehow, we continue to train co-workers, employees, clients and sometimes even other children (professional teaching). Something doesn’t seem quite right there! Now look at this:

Using this somewhat optimistic (and slightly incomplete) chart my son and I created for a homeschool project, we see that there are ideally 2 unimpeded hours a day devoted to spending time with our children and significant others. Now, break down how much time your child has with each adult in his/her life. Specifically, every teacher. Think about how many class changes are made throughout the day and whom he/she spends the most time with. Just who is really influencing our children, our future?

For that matter, why do we wonder why kids respect their peers more than their parents and bemoan the fact that modern relationships don’t last?

Like pebbles in a pond, our lives influence those around us.

If you don’t think you are in any way significant, think again! What does your life teach those who:

– Know you
– Know of you
– Know someone who knows you
– Know someone who knows of you
– Know someone who knows someone who knows you
– Know someone who knows someone who knows of you

Most of us don’t think about this outward-spiraling force. Yet, our influence – positive or negative – continues further out than we can imagine, further even than the people accounted for here.

I believe the only way that both our world as a whole and our own life experiences will get better is by returning to real devotion to our Creator.

My quest to become a better person, to be more like the perfect human (Jesus), led me to investigate Judaism. Therefore, you will primarily see references to Hebrew/Jewish resources, texts and information on this site as well as implorations for Jews to be Jews (stop trying to please the world and start trying to please G-d instead!). However, I was raised Roman Catholic and have experienced a myriad of other paths on our way to this point in my life. It is inevitable that you will also find respectful Christian or other religious references.

If at any time you are offended by this, simply navigate your browser to another website. You will be wasting your time and mine by blasting me or launching a campaign to convert me. As someone wise once said, “wish me what you will, I wish you twice as much”.

Wishing you much peace, happiness and success,

Pearl “Penny” Lane, C.P.C.


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