Fate and Destiny Vs. Free Will

Sometimes it sucks to think of how good what could have been looks compared to “what’s meant to be”. I think somehow it all turns out okay, we move on (what choice do we have?), and we find something else but every now and then … there’s that little twinge.

Why do things happen the way they do? If God gave us all free will, how can there be destiny, a “meant to be”? Why does it work out for someone else? Heavy questions I don’t have an answer to and probably never will.

It’s easy to talk about fate, destiny, and things being meant to be when we experience a positive, happy, and desirable outcome.

When hurtful things happen though, it can be hard to reconcile how a loving God would allow – even pre-ordain – our hurt. Does He seriously feel that we deserve to have a terrible thing happen to us?

If there is a plan for each of us, I don’t think it is written in stone.

God gave us free will, which means we all have the opportunity to change what is/was planned for us. It also means we can directly and indirectly affect what happens to someone else.

It’s that latter part that gets us into trouble more often than not because we usually can’t see how our choices impact someone else until AFTER we’ve done or said whatever we did or said.

God does not hurt us on purpose or allow us to be hurt for no reason.

Like a good parent, it must pain Him to see how we behave sometimes but He knows He must let us all grow up, make our mistakes, and harness our free will to become independent individuals.

Sadly, that means that sometimes we will hurt someone or someone will hurt us. It’s up to us to seek His comfort when we need it, to try to make amends with those we hurt when we make a mistake, and to strive to keep our hearts from growing hard. Easier said than done, I know.

All I can do – all I can tell you – is to just keep praying and believe that God will make things right somehow. That’s what keeps me going when the hurts of my past come sucker punching me out of nowhere.


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